So lot's of questions as to why I stopped beta readings for Talania almost two months ago.
You want answers here you go.
Talania— the story wasn't working for me. The characters seemed like they were meant to be someone completely else. I was writing a new way I did not like at all!
So I called the whole thing off.
Not even days later I'm sitting there talking about awareness for heart disease and cancer with one of my very best friends I've known online for years. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why Talania kept popping up in my head during this conversation. I mean we were discussing awareness. I do not hide certain things in my life one of them being that Cancer and Cardiovascular Heart Disease run very heavily in my family. So yes I support those Awareness Society's with everything I can. It may not be much, but I do it. Back to Talania it just kept popping up and my mind just kept replaying those two names. Evelyn and Tristan. Then Cancer crept up next to those two names. Then Talania. Then memory loss. We've read stories about how coma's and memory loss heavily effect people. So—there was my story. Evelyn and Tristan. Evelyn and Tristan being in love. Evelyn being diagnosed with brain cancer. A tumor sitting right on her temporal lobe, pressing down already causing memory loss. Three surgeries later six years of memories gone. Evelyn's parents uprooting her right when she's diagnosed without telling Tristan and his family what's happening. Tristan thinking she just up and left. Four years later not even a year after being in remission running into a complete stranger. Scary, Intense, Sad, Angry, Answers. There are a million different things Evelyn is feeling. That's really when their story started taking place. The journey down memory lane.
I've never taken so much care in one of my stories until now. This is a story I want people to feel. I want them to feel everything. The hurt, the confusion, the love, the lost memories I want every emotion to effect readers of Talania. That is why this beautiful story I am taking such great care of when writing I use video flashbacks, memory flashbacks from Tristan's POV, photo's, memorabilia, a certain touch, a certain look, a certain laugh every single thing that I can think of that causes a memory or a trip down memory lane I use it.
So with that being said. My heart and my brain— both that led me to this story during a conversation I was having about the subject at hand; I've decided after careful consideration that this will be my debut novel. Fidelity will still be released on scheduled release day, but Talania will be coming before it. My concentration will be solely on Talania. This isn't one of my fun carefree erotic short stories or novella's this is an actual heart felt pain staking read. And I want it to be perfect.
So there you go, that's why Talania is completely different that's why my hand was forced into a different direction I'm not used to writing. That is why my heart and my soul are in this novel. That is why with each POV with Tristan and Evelyn I constantly go back and re-read and fix. This is why I took my so-called sabbatical. This is why I am pulling back on blogging a bit. This is the many reasons and answers to your questions about where I've been and why!
I know right now it seems like it's all about Jade's College Diaries, but it's not. Jade really did come to me in a dream I really did write that short erotic story in 10 hours and on a whim published it. It's gotten great feedback and I'm drawing fans slowly. Same with My Real Smile I wrote that novella years and years ago only to have updated the songs and other items in it a month ago. Last year I decided to finish the novella series they will be releasing soon. I didn't publish Strictly Off Limits and My Real Smile for the hell of it. I published them because something told me too. Turns out, I needed it. I needed to dip my feet in the water learn to except criticism and prepare for Talania.
So there you go there's your answers.