Why I completely re-wrote Talania. And why it is now a cancer survivor love story.

So lot's of questions as to why I stopped beta readings for Talania almost two months ago.

You want answers here you go.

Talania— the story wasn't working for me. The characters seemed like they were meant to be someone completely else. I was writing a new way I did not like at all!
So I called the whole thing off.

Not even days later I'm sitting there talking about awareness for heart disease and cancer with one of my very best friends I've known online for years. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why Talania kept popping up in my head during this conversation. I mean we were discussing awareness. I do not hide certain things in my life one of them being that Cancer and Cardiovascular Heart Disease run very heavily in my family. So yes I support those Awareness Society's with everything I can. It may not be much, but I do it. Back to Talania it just kept popping up and my mind just kept replaying those two names. Evelyn and Tristan. Then Cancer crept up next to those two names. Then Talania. Then memory loss. We've read stories about how coma's and memory loss heavily effect people. So—there was my story. Evelyn and Tristan. Evelyn and Tristan being in love. Evelyn being diagnosed with brain cancer. A tumor sitting right on her temporal lobe, pressing down already causing memory loss. Three surgeries later six years of memories gone. Evelyn's parents uprooting her right when she's diagnosed without telling Tristan and his family what's happening. Tristan thinking she just up and left. Four years later not even a year after being in remission running into a complete stranger. Scary, Intense, Sad, Angry, Answers. There are a million different things Evelyn is feeling.  That's really when their story started taking place. The journey down memory lane.

I've never taken so much care in one of my stories until now. This is a story I want people to feel. I want them to feel everything. The hurt, the confusion, the love, the lost memories I want every emotion to effect readers of Talania. That is why this beautiful story I am taking such great care of when writing I use video flashbacks, memory flashbacks from Tristan's POV, photo's, memorabilia, a certain touch, a certain look, a certain laugh every single thing that I can think of that causes a memory or a trip down memory lane I use it.    

So with that being said. My heart and my brain— both that led me to this story during a conversation I was having about the subject at hand; I've decided after careful consideration that this will be my debut novel. Fidelity will still be released on scheduled release day, but Talania will be coming before it. My concentration will be solely on Talania. This isn't one of my fun carefree erotic short stories or novella's this is an actual heart felt pain staking read. And I want it to be perfect.
So there you go, that's why Talania is completely different that's why my hand was forced into a different direction I'm not used to writing. That is why my heart and my soul are in this novel. That is why with each POV with Tristan and Evelyn I constantly go back and re-read and fix. This is why I took my so-called sabbatical. This is why I am pulling back on blogging a bit. This is the many reasons and answers to your questions about where I've been and why!

I know right now it seems like it's all about Jade's College Diaries, but it's not. Jade really did come to me in a dream I really did write that short erotic story in 10 hours and on a whim published it. It's gotten great feedback and I'm drawing fans slowly. Same with My Real Smile I wrote that novella years and years ago only to have updated the songs and other items in it a month ago. Last year I decided to finish the novella series they will be releasing soon. I didn't publish Strictly Off Limits and My Real Smile for the hell of it. I published them because something told me too. Turns out, I needed it. I needed to dip my feet in the water learn to except criticism and prepare for Talania.

So there you go there's your answers.

Talania Blurb-ish ♥

What happens when you literally get a second chance at love?
Evelyn Beaumont can't remember from the ages of 14-19. She's a brain cancer survivor. She's now 20 years old and enrolled in college. There she meets Tristan Monroe, but it isn't for the first time. In fact Tristan and Evelyn were once in love. A love so strong it shattered him when she never came back to Laguna that Thanksgiving. Three years they spent together.
Evelyn wants nothing more but to have her memories back. With the help of Tristan and his brother Drake they embark on an emotional journey filled with videos, photos, memorabilia straight down memory lane. 

While they take the stroll down memory lane; Evelyn must learn to deal with Tristan's groupies and learn to love again.

Is their love strong enough to overcome memory loss? Will all the proof he shares with her be enough?

A Wicked Dream I am so turning into a novel!

I scan through my cards biting my lower lip I know this is my downfall, but yet I choose to give myself away. I look over at him, him being the reason I want to lose. If I lose this card game I will finally get what I want. And what I want is him. Nate—oh god Nate, he is a God a figment in every college girls imagination and dreams. Nate is 6'4'' with sandy blonde hair that hangs down into his eyes and when he runs his hands through it, musing it into his own perfect style it's enough to make your panties wet. His football stocked frame with his proceeding muscles, his tanned skin and his baby blues make him the object of eye fucking for many females and maybe even some men. The party is dwindling down I say dwindling, but really everyone is either passed out or somewhere fucking. I am not trying to win this card game because I want to tangle with Nate and if I win I don't get to do that. I am fucking plastered, but Nate made this deal with me before I got hammered he can't back down now. I can't help but feel as if he wanted this too; he knows I will lose on purpose if it means getting naked with him. "So—whatcha got good lookin'," Nate asks. His voice a low hum that makes my panties dampen. I look down at my cards and see I am holding absolutely nothing of worth. Thank the sex gods! I lay the cards down on the table and reach over to grab the Hennessy pouring us both another shot. He flicks his perfectly shaped eyebrow up laying his cards out showing a royal flush. I smirk pushing his shot towards him. "Looks like I finally get what I want," I purr.

            I watch as Nate downs his shot slamming the shot glass on the table. "Baby—we both get what we want," he says while reaching for my hand pulling me onto the card table. "It's about damn time; I've been chasing this magic stick for two fucking years!" I run my manicured finger across his lip. "We were freshman Jade; I had to test the waters taste all the different flavors. But—now I want the flavor Jade,” he murmurs against my lips. Oh god!  His tongue grazes my lower lip and I whimper. He growls slamming his lips hard against mine. The kiss is frantic, hungry— two years of wicked wanting wrapped up in this forceful kiss. I gasp and Nate takes advantage of my lips parting and when his tongue wraps around mine I lose all control. I scratch at his back bringing him closer to me which only fuels his fire. He lays me down on the card table dragging the hem of my summer dress to my waist. “I wonder if your pussy tastes as good as your kisses,” he growls. This man is skilled his lips never leave mine and I don’t even realize he is dragging my thongs down until I feel the cold air hit my lips. “Well, well look at what we have here,” his fingers dance along my “eat me” tattoo above my pussy. “I lost a bet,” I whisper. “Well since it’s talking to me I guess I should comply,” he breathes. I don’t have a chance to think or have a comeback. This is what I've always wanted Nate. Nate the guy I met at freshman orientation. Nate the guy who has been my best friend for two years the womanizing man whore. All thoughts are lost as his tongue glides against my core. “Give me some help baby,” he brings two fingers to my mouth I don’t hesitate I suck them straight into my mouth. I didn't realize he was such a dirty guy. He pumps his fingers in and out of my mouth a few times before dragging them down to my pussy. As his now wet fingers glide inside he nips my clit in-between his teeth and lightly tugs. My eyes roll in the back of my head as he pumps and licks my core to pieces. My legs begin to shake. “That’s it Jade baby let it go, give it all to me,” his plea muffled. “Nate—,” I moan. All my senses are gone I feel weightless as I come around his long fingers and his gorgeous mouth. 

Pffw!

Copyright © 2013 by Crystal D. Spears

Calling All ARC LOVERS ♥♥

Calling All ARC LOVERS ♥

Who wants an ARC of My Real Smile the first Novella in the Smile Novella Trilogy? 

ARCS go out Next Week, first come first serve. 

A few little rules.
ARCS are not to be re-distributed. Add My Real Smile to your to-reads list on goodreads. If you receive an ARC; reviews must be posted to Goodreads within a week of receiving. Once My Real Smile re-releases on Amazon reviews will also need posted on there as well. I am sending out 20 ARCS ♥

Anyone interested email me at the following.
livesandbreathesbooks@gmail.com Title it with "ARC SMILE"

To Add My Real Smile To Your Goodreads To-Read List Follow The Link
My Real Smile Link

Small Snip teaser of Fidelity

I've been so busy I forgot to share with ya'll a short snippet for Fidelity. 
I know I am slackin' :(

“Sas—i’m okay so is Alec, but it doesn't look like Kai will be,” she pushes me off of her and points. I look over and sure enough he’s still doubled over. I cross my arms over my chest while sitting up in the sand. “Well now you see the extent of your stupidity and yet another reason not to piss me off, now you know what happens when you put people I love in danger,” I shrug.
“You love me too, yet, here I sit with my balls in my throat,” Kai roars out through clenched teeth.

Add Fidelity to your Goodreads to-read list

Most Embarrassing Moment Of My Life

So those who know me know my family bought a new jeep for our Christmas.
Well I live in the country like deep country where my wifi acts up and is most of the time slow.
So what happens when you live deep in the countryside? Everyone knows everyone! Well to start my storytelling I take aspirin everyday and I decide to run down to the little country store for my aspirin and Mountain Dew Code Red fix. I pull into the little store and hop out, it's pouring down rain so I take off running into the store. Not even mere seconds of entering the store my Jeep Alarm is going off like mad crazy! GET THIS! I didn't even know I had a freaking alarm! HOW PATHETIC! Goes to show you how much I pay attention when you stick something shiny and new in my face! So here I am hitting the unlock button on my key-chain and it still won't stop! Store employee who I've known for years comes out saying "Crystal is that your car doing that?" *Facepalm* "Yes! I am so, so very sorry!" I apologize and apologize. I can't get the thing to shut up! It's embarrassing and those who know me, know I don't do well under an extreme amount of anxiety. I'm practically in tears everyone is looking at me and I don't know how to shut my annoying alarm off. A friend of a friend says "Try driving it down the road, let it know it's not stolen by starting it up and driving. Electronics are funny like that," says friend of friend. Oh great! So it might be an electronic problem I am cursing mentally, LIKE I NEED ANOTHER PROBLEM! I get in my jeep and take off down the road all the while, my alarm is going off, my flashers won't turn off and people are looking out their windows trying to figure out what that god awful noise is coming through this small little town. I cut the wheel and do a turn and finally it shuts off! I've never been so angry, frustrated, humiliated, horrified in my life! And the messed up thing is while having all these emotions fly through me and tears streaming my eyes I can't help but laugh because if I didn't have anxiety issues I would actually find this funny! I get home and I throw the keys at Brad and say call the Da*n shop tomorrow and I go to my writing cave and slam the door! 

That's it Lovebugs I've hit my stress level for the day; yeah I sure have!

Hard to Love By Kendall Ryan Review

I received this ARC for an honest review and I am going to do just that. Be honest as I always am. 

I need to start this review off by saying that all of Kendall's characters are shamefully amazing no matter which book, they are all freaking amazing. So let's get to Hard to Love. I was excited about this book because it was different. Really a porn star? HOT DAMN! I absolutely fell in love with Cade! Who in the hell in their right mind wouldn't? He sacrificed his pride of being a damn porn star to make enough money to take care of his little sister. Not only that he was gorgeous on top of all this. The poor guy had shit for parents and the world kept handing him lemons and by god he squeezed them damn lemons and made his life revolve around this special little girl named Lily. My heart broke, tore down to nothing, all that was left was this huge gaping whole in my chest when I read what this man and his poor sister had been through. What broke it the most was the fact here is this amazing little girl with this disease and she bounced around keeping a smile on her damn face as if nothing was wrong with her. And for that age that was amazing, her character alone was enough to keep me reading. What got me even more was Alexa bound and determined to be a part of Cade and Lily's life no matter how much Cade pushed her away. He had his reasons. He had a little girl to think about. He had that little girls heart to think about. What would happen if little Lily fell in love with Alexa and just upped and left them both? Cade had nothing but doubts and questions left in his head, with good reason and cause. I loved how Alexa's character was noble, sweet and caring. She was absolutely a force all on her own devoting her life to everyone. I won't go into details, but her best friend calls all this out in the book and it makes you fall in love with her. Cade is hot and mixed with the sweet and caring Alexa it heated up the pages. Once again Kendall made love scenes sizzle scorching your finger tips as you eagerly and impatiently flipped the pages yearning for more. Not only is this read full of love, heartbreak it has witty banter from Cade that made me laugh my ass off. Here are two of my favorite quotes by his POV from the beginning of the read. 

"Dammit. I knew a four-hour erection wasn't normal."  

"It was as if my dick thought we were here to pick up a willing participant to ease his discomfort. Sadly,no, little man. I felt his pain."

I give this read 5 stars and 5 hearts

♥♥♥♥♥

You will miss out by not reading this. It's a fast read, but yet it is filled with everything.

To purchase Hard to Love by Lady Kendall Ryan Click below.

Purchase Hard to Love With This Amazon Link